Thou art still living.

19. Southerner Trapped In Small Town Pennsylvania.
Messianic Christian.
Social Work Major.
Engaged.
Librarian.
[I promise I am much more exciting than I sound.]

franintherye:

I have officially lost 62 lbs on Nurtisystem. This is something I am doing for myself, not anyone else. Other people’s ideas of how I should look are not my goal. I will continue to lose weight until I reach a place where I feel I want to be. I know I can never go back to my ballet and cheerleading body— I was too thin then anyway. I’m not aiming for a certain number on the scale or pants size. I just want to be healthy.  

This girl is an inspiration. So proud to call her a friend <3

franintherye:

I have officially lost 62 lbs on Nurtisystem. This is something I am doing for myself, not anyone else. Other people’s ideas of how I should look are not my goal. I will continue to lose weight until I reach a place where I feel I want to be. I know I can never go back to my ballet and cheerleading body— I was too thin then anyway. I’m not aiming for a certain number on the scale or pants size. I just want to be healthy.  

This girl is an inspiration. So proud to call her a friend <3

(Source: meancutie)

jesellediaz:

Piano ba ka mo? 😂😂 👌👌 ( feat. E.T feet) 👣👽💀
#Piano #Love #Cool #Awesome #BIG #Thing #me #feet #et #life #jj #bestoftheday #weird #happy #picoftheday #igdaily #instagood #instadaily #iphoneonly

jesellediaz:

Piano ba ka mo? 😂😂 👌👌 ( feat. E.T feet) 👣👽💀

#Piano #Love #Cool #Awesome #BIG #Thing #me #feet #et #life #jj #bestoftheday #weird #happy #picoftheday #igdaily #instagood #instadaily #iphoneonly

“Anyone can love a rose, but it takes a lot to love a leaf. It’s ordinary to love the beautiful, but it’s beautiful to love the ordinary.”

—   Unknown (via cavum)

(Source: day488, via arielthemermaid100140)

Some days, ya know?

I’m not one for complaining, but some days it just needs to happen.

I am at work for 7.5 hours today. If I stand for more than 5 minutes me knees become super inflammed and burn, and it I sit more than 5 minutes by back does the same. There are no other options. I literally go from standing to sitting every 5 minutes.

All day.

My boss probably thinks I’m crazy.

My doctor shattered her ankle so I cannot go back to the doctor for my follow up for another 5 weeks, and last time I saw her all she did was give me some Aleve to “help ease the pain.”

That was a waste of a $3 prescription.. Ibuprofen, Aleve, Tylenol, none of it does anything for me.

As soon as I get bloodwork done (again) I am going gluten free and starting a food/pain journal to track my flare-ups. That in itself sounds emotionally exhausting but hopefully it will do some good.

I haven’t been able to get out and run in a about a week and a half (Though the past 2 times I’ve ran I’ve beat my own goals!) because I’ve been so busy, but now it’s because the pain is too bad.

I have no motivation to do anything. I have a literature review due next week, and tons of quizzes to make up. The pain completely zaps me of all energy and motivation. I just want to lay in bed and wallow in self-pity.

This is one of those days where the pain is so bad I considered leaving work early so I don’t have a complete breakdown here every time I try to move.

Today for the first time my knuckles are turning red in addition to the pain. I’ve never had that happen before.

I’m so sick of not having a diagnosis. I literally have every symptom of fibromyalgia, but my doctor wouldn’t really hear much about it. It is the best for me to identify with because I know exactly how everyone with it feels. At the same time I feel like a huge fake for blaming fibro when I don’t even know what I have. I’m just grasping at straws at this point.

I want answers. I don’t need answers, and I know God is teaching me patience through this, but I want answers anyway.

This has been an emotional Jess rant.

fibrolicious:

static-nonsense:

neptunesummer:

When you have an illness, sometimes you have to be selfish and just focus on yourself. It takes so much energy to try and please everyone else and it’s not worth all the emotional and physical stress. You have to do what’s best for you, even if other people are critical of you or don’t understand. You know your body better than anyone else and you can decide what activities you can and can’t do.

what i needed to hear today

Exactly!!!!

This.

“1. push yourself to get up before the rest of the world - start with 7am, then 6am, then 5:30am. go to the nearest hill with a big coat and a scarf and watch the sun rise.

2. push yourself to fall asleep earlier - start with 11pm, then 10pm, then 9pm. wake up in the morning feeling re-energized and comfortable.

3. erase processed food from your diet. start with no lollies, chips, biscuits, then erase pasta, rice, cereal, then bread. use the rule that if a child couldn’t identify what was in it, you don’t eat it.

4. get into the habit of cooking yourself a beautiful breakfast. fry tomatoes and mushrooms in real butter and garlic, fry an egg, slice up a fresh avocado and squirt way too much lemon on it. sit and eat it and do nothing else.

5. stretch. start by reaching for the sky as hard as you can, then trying to touch your toes. roll your head. stretch your fingers. stretch everything.

6. buy a 1L water bottle. start with pushing yourself to drink the whole thing in a day, then try drinking it twice.

7. buy a beautiful diary and a beautiful black pen. write down everything you do, including dinner dates, appointments, assignments, coffees, what you need to do that day. no detail is too small.

8. strip your bed of your sheets and empty your underwear draw into the washing machine. put a massive scoop of scented fabric softener in there and wash. make your bed in full.

9. organise your room. fold all your clothes (and bag what you don’t want), clean your mirror, your laptop, vacuum the floor. light a beautiful candle.

10. have a luxurious shower with your favourite music playing. wash your hair, scrub your body, brush your teeth. lather your whole body in moisturiser, get familiar with the part between your toes, your inner thighs, the back of your neck.

11. push yourself to go for a walk. take your headphones, go to the beach and walk. smile at strangers walking the other way and be surprised how many smile back. bring your dog and observe the dog’s behaviour. realise you can learn from your dog.

12. message old friends with personal jokes. reminisce. suggest a catch up soon, even if you don’t follow through. push yourself to follow through.

14. think long and hard about what interests you. crime? sex? boarding school? long-forgotten romance etiquette? find a book about it and read it. there is a book about literally everything.

15. become the person you would ideally fall in love with. let cars merge into your lane when driving. pay double for parking tickets and leave a second one in the machine. stick your tongue out at babies. compliment people on their cute clothes. challenge yourself to not ridicule anyone for a whole day. then two. then a week. walk with a straight posture. look people in the eye. ask people about their story. talk to acquaintances so they become friends.

16. lie in the sunshine. daydream about the life you would lead if failure wasn’t a thing. open your eyes. take small steps to make it happen for you.”

Probably the most realistic chronic illness cat that I&#8217;ve found yet.
Nothing like being 19, living at home, and paying for all of your own medical care and food because you can no longer eat ANYTHING that is in your house.
Cool.

Probably the most realistic chronic illness cat that I’ve found yet.

Nothing like being 19, living at home, and paying for all of your own medical care and food because you can no longer eat ANYTHING that is in your house.

Cool.